A loud clang from the fence line, followed by some suspicious bleating. I knew right away—those troublemaking Groundskeepers were at it again. Yep, Billy the Kid, El Diablo, and Calamity Jane had busted loose, and they were headed straight for the garden like it was a buffet line at an all-you-can-eat hoedown.
Well, I sprang into action like the seasoned ranch dog I am. I zigzagged through the field, barking just enough to make ‘em reconsider their choices but not enough to panic the pigs. El Diablo tried to fake left and bolt right (classic), but I was on him like hay on a horse blanket. Meanwhile, Calamity Jane attempted a sneak attack on the hammock—why, I’ll never know.
It took a solid 20 minutes, a little strategic tail-wagging, and one perfectly timed head tilt, but I got those goats rounded back into their pen without so much as a scratch on a tomato plant. The humans were mighty impressed. I even scored a bonus belly rub and a cold splash in the horse trough.
No medals were handed out, but I’m pretty sure Rama Llama DingDong gave me a subtle nod of respect. That’s high praise from the Ranch Security Officer himself.
Until next time, keep your hooves clean and your fences tight.
Pawsitively yours,
Rupert 🐾
Official Goat Negotiator and Ranch Peacekeeper at The Hideaway Ranch
